Research shows that regardless of gender, culture, socioeconomic status, skin color and language, nearly everyone wants a lifelong, secure, happy and committed relationship. In his book, “Fighting For Your Marriage”, Howard J. Markman shared, “If you want to have a great relationship, the way you handle differences matters more than what those differences are”.
Sometimes in our relationships, our focus turns more to “pleasing” or trying to meet the needs/desires of our partners, while overlooking our own. Or we may try to hide/deny differences between us, to avoid conflict.
As noted by renowned relationship specialists, Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, virtually every relationship will experience problems and disillusionment, due to “differences”. The differences can be real and/or perceived. How you perceive your differences, how you manage your feelings, where you focus your attention and how you act and communicate under stress, will determine the quality of your relationship. If you can change your belief that your partner is the source of your happiness or unhappiness – if you can understand that differences and the struggles they create are not a sign of a failing relationship – if you can see your relationship as a journey along a path of development, then you will be well on your way to a more fulfilling relationship.
If you would like to learn more about how to create a healthy, loving relationship, attend one of our relationship workshops:
1) LET’S TALK: Communication for Couples
2) EVERYONE FIGHTS: Do it Right
3) WHERE IS THE “ME” IN “WE”: Breaking the Ties of Co-Dependence
4) THE NUTS AND BOLTS OF LOVE: Commitment, Friendship and Intimacy
Samaritan Counseling Center is offering this series of four Relationship Workshops, on the following dates: Starting July 26th, 9th, 23th and 6th from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. To sign up, please call 503-281-3318, ext. 0.
These workshops will be offered again on September 6th, 13th, 20th and 27th, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. as well as September 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. and in October 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th. Call for times and locations.